Tuesday, 23 October 2012

The end of the road

The end of a relationship is always hard, when that relationship has span 10 years, countless first dates, break-ups, drunken nights out and more laughs than I can remember, the end is even harder, unfortunately all that now remains of one of my closet friendships is memories of the good times and wondering where it all went wrong. This has been one of the hardest decisions I have ever had to make, and I've fought long and hard with myself before coming to the conclusion that I did yesterday. Friendships should be two ways, for a long time I have felt like I have been the one giving whilst M has taken all I have to give. Last night I had a sudden realisation that nothing was going to change and the only way to make myself feel better was to end the friendship. This was by no means an easy decision to make - for the past few months I have been backwards and forwards battling my head against my heart and ultimately I realised that my head had to win.
Now feel like I am going through the grieving process. Last night I cried, a lot, to Stuart, my parents, other friends, anyone I spoke to moved me to tears. Today my appetite has disappeared but something remarkable has happened, the weight that has been on my shoulders for months has vanished, I feel much more relaxed as a direct reaction to last nights decision.

For now, I will go onwards and upwards, enjoying this journey and everything it has to throw at me.

1 comment:

  1. that's so sad that M put you in a position where you had to choose, but as you say, a relationship has to be equal. Maybe she'll realise what she's missed out on now. (I am assuming it's a she).
    Chin up :) x