Today

Today a friend of mine is getting married - a friend who was there when I said my vows, a friend who was there through break ups and new relationships, tears and laughter. I am not at the wedding, not because I don't want to be but because I am not invited, bridges have been burnt and although I have tried to reconcile my efforts have been in vain. I won't be there to watch her walk down the aisle, or see her promise to love her new husband through the good times and the bad, I wont see them dance, or toast the happy couple. Instead I will be here, thinking about them both, sending them all the love in the world and then some. Sure we may not speak anymore but that doesn't stop a part of my heart from belonging to her.

A & K I wish you all the happiness and love in the world xxx

Happy Anniversary

This is a blog post dedicated to my darling husband Stuart. A year ago today in front of family and friends we exchanged vows, promised to love each other and danced the night away as husband and wife, a year later and life couldn't be better!

Dear Meemo,

The traditional present when celebrating your one year anniversary is paper, I have been backwards and forwards with what to give you, I wanted it to be something meaningful, something which you could keep forever, which you could look back on when we are old(er) and grey(er) and remember the first year of our life together as Mr and Mrs Phazey, then it hit me - I could write you a letter on here, the blog that has supported me and helped me through the difficult times, this blog will never disappear and so therefore this letter to you will live forever.

A year ago I remember having no nerves at all, why would I, I was about to marry the man I adored, in front of all the people who mean the most to me. The minutes ticked by so slowly, and yet when I look back they all merge into one - getting my hair and make up done, laughing with friends, tears with my mom, a champagne toast until finally I got to put on my dress and make my way over to you in church. The moment I saw you was one I will never forget, everything else melted away, it was just you and me. The ceremony passed in the blink of an eye, but the most important thing was that we were now husband and wife. The wedding was the start of our lives together, we had become one and we were now a force to be reckoned with!

Married life started off blissfully, two weeks in paradise, with nothing to do but spend time together. When we got home reality hit - neither of us worked for a month so money was tight, but rather than letting it get us down we budgeted, spent days in the garden playing cards, having walks along the beach, celebrating birthdays with BBQs and picnics on the beach. Then you were offered a job in Norfolk, for 3 months we spent our days wishing away the days until Friday evening so that we could spend 2 days together. It was tough but we got through it, whatever life could throw at us we were stronger.

Now we are happily settled, in our perfect little house with pets and a routine. Sure we argue, but what couple doesn't? You have been there for me throughout the darkest period of my life, at the end of the phone when I needed to cry, holding my hand through the night, reassuring me, telling me over and over again that I am strong. I know that without you by my side this battle would be so much harder. You inspire me every day, I love seeing you walk through the door with a smile on your face, listen to you talking about your job, laughing at the cricket, making up nicknames for each other, planning our lives together.

Thank you for the last year, thank you for being my best friend, my soul mate, my confidante, my husband. Heres to many more years together.

Love you today, tomorrow, always,

Gemma

xxx

The proposal

So far I have told you all about our wedding day, but I've not yet told you how we arrived there!

February 24th 2011 was the day of the teacher strikes, which meant I had a day off from teaching and Stuart was given the option of having a day off work or meeting the Queen - he took a day off so we could spend a bit of extra time together.

We made plans to visit Leeds Castle and spend the day walking around, enjoying a picnic before returning home. Now, I love a castle and was excited to get the day started as quickly as possible, Stuart however had other ideas! After an early morning 5 mile run he announced that he had to head to Bluewater Shopping Centre to run some last minute errands, and would I mind staying at home and preparing the picnic? I was more than happy to do this - I love preparing a picnic and have a tendency to go completely over the top - however when Stuart rang an hour later to say he was heading home but would have to head back to Bluewater a little later my good mood started to fade. An hour later I found myself wandering around TopShop whilst Stuart had disappeared, again, I had lost all interest in a day out and was fully prepared to go home, watch a DVD and enjoy a carpet picnic, luckily (for me) Stuart convinced me we should head on out. 

Now normally we are a very tactile couple, always holding hands and larking about, the walk around the grounds of the castle couldn't have been more different. Stuart jumped whenever I touched his arm and barely looked at me, I later discovered this was because he was desperately keeping hold of the ring but at the time I was convinced that my earlier bad mood had dampened the day and that he was rushing around so that we could get home. 

I don't have a huge amount to say about the castle - the grounds are absolutely incredible and I would recommend a visit just to enjoy the gardens, birds, peacocks, swans, the maze and the beautiful flowers, however as incredible as the castle looked from the outside, inside it was all too much like being on a school trip - rather than being able to wander around at your own pace and see the things you wanted to, you had to follow a preplanned route, having experienced Dover Castle a few weeks previously I have to say I was left underwhelmed by Leeds Castle itself.

By the time we got to the gardens I was convinced that Stuart was probably close to breaking up with me, conversation was limited and he seemed distant, rounding a corner though he pulled me in for  hug, then over looking the lake he went down on one knee and asked me to marry him, rather than saying yes I made a noise akin to this! The ring he had designed was perfect and very me, even now whenever I catch a glimpse of it it makes me smile. After telling everyone I could think of and returning back to our usual tactile selves we enjoyed a picnic and left Leeds Castle with very happy memories.

twenty ninth, six, two thousand and twelve

Since this blog is going to be a documentation of my life as a newly wed what better place to start than the wedding itself.
Ever since Stuart proposed at Leeds Castle we always knew that we wanted a small wedding with our nearest and dearest! We were really lucky that so many people offered to help us out which gave our wedding a real family feel.

The Venue:
After getting engaged Stuart and I sat down and discussed what we wanted from our wedding, the only thing I was insistent on was that it was in a church. My families local church refused to marry us as Stuart isn't christened and I really thought that was going to be it. Luckily, whilst walking around the NEC wedding fair we stumbled across Wroxall Abbey and fell completely and utterly in love. We quickly arranged a viewing a following weekend, confirmed that the venue was amazing and got it booked!
Scenery like this really helped:

We really can't thank the people at Wroxall enough for all their help in making sure the day ran smoothly, they were always at the end of the phone to give advice in the run up to the day, and made sure that everything was perfect on the day itself.

The Dress:
From a really young age I knew I wanted a wedding dress like this one:

I have been an Audrey Hepburn fan for as long as I can remember and I love how different this dress is to traditional wedding dresses. I wanted something different, which no other bride was going to be able to wear so I chose to have my dress made for me - luckily I have an amazing family friend who is a dress maker! My final dress looked like this:

The band around the middle came from the bridesmaid dresses and so was a complete colour match with the rest of the wedding. What you can't see in this picture is the embroidery which was all along the very bottom of the dress, incorporated into this were small blue beads again to match the colour theme! The dress was easily one of my favourite parts of the whole wedding - I loved putting it on. I am now at a loss which what to do with it though, some people have suggested having it shortened so I can wear it again - has anyone else done this?

The Flowers:

The flowers and the cake were the only 2 surprises I had on our wedding day. Since I was a toddler I have always helped my fairy Godmother with her floristry business and so whilst I had 2 request for the wedding day - Cala Lillies for my bouquet and Cream roses for the bridesmaids, everything else was left to Jo to decide and what a fantastic job she did. The church was filled with the most delicious scent which really took my breathe away when I waled in, the memory of that smell and seeing everyone in the church will last forever.

The Cake:

Our wedding cake was a complete and utter surprise to the both of us. My fabulous mom decided that she wanted there to be a part of our day that neither of us knew about, the only inkling that we had was that she was using blue ribbon! It turned out perfectly and tasted delicious :)

The Music:

The music to us was really personal, we had both fallen in love with this song which was my entrance music into the church. The evening entertainment was provided by the fantastic Steve Steinhaus Swing Band, with our first dance coming curtesy of Eden.

Photography:

We were incredibly lucky with our photography in that we had 2 amazing photographers who captured every part of the day perfectly. I would highly recommend them both and suggest you take a look at their work! Peter Reynolds and Siobhan Healey.

Something Old - A silver cross necklace given to me by my grandfather at my Christening many years ago.

Something New - My Dress!

Something Borrowed -  This amazing veil lent to me by Lynnette Peck of Lovelys Vintage Emporium.

Something Blue - My shoes, which I absolutely love!

Finally I end this epic blog post with a small video clip created for us by the lovely Lindsay:

http://player.vimeo.com/video/45877756

Feeling - happy (writing a post about my wedding will do that!)

Listening to - The Real Housewives of the OC (my guilty trashy viewing)

To Do - Bake a banana bread and some flapjacks for my husband (recipes to follow)