Building bridges

Elton John sang that sorry seemed to be the hardest word - I think he's wrong, I say sorry all the time, to my husband, my parents, my friends, my brothers, the children I teach, the list is endless. As recently as yesterday though I took what I hope will be the first step to rebuilding a relationship which I think faltered at the very beginning.

Not so long ago I met a girl, lets call her Solitaire, a girl I really wanted to be friends with. At first everything seemed to be fine, and then suddenly, dramatically things took a turn for the worse. I can't even remember what first happened for this drastic shift between us, all I know is that I fear it could ultimately be irreversible. What could have been a nice friendship between two people who, unbeknown to us at the time, were both about to embark on a pretty eventful year has became an exchange of tit for tat. Now whilst I cannot speak on behalf of Solitaire I can say that I have said things which I regret, I lashed out when I was hurting and as I have looked back I am ashamed of my behaviour,  I would like to think that she would feel the same, however I of course cannot be certain of this.

Making the first move has been tough for me, Solitaire has hurt me more than I ever thought anyone could - I fully accept that she may (probably) feel the same way about me, however I realise now it's not just me and her this feud is hurting. The people close to us both have unwillingly become involved, I find them censoring the things they say to me and that hurts.  Knowing where to start is the problem, how far back into the past do you go before you have to stop apologising and begin forging a new path together? I am hoping beyond all hope that Solitaire and I can start again, move forward together and maybe forge a friendship.

Solitaire - wherever you are, know that I truly am sorry.

What would you guys do? Where would you start?