Hand Care

I have always suffered with dry hands, I have tried everything including the most heavy duty hand creams I have been able to find but all to no avail, I had pretty much given up hope but then I was introduced to the 60 second fix for hands by Crabtree and Evelyn.

There are two parts to this, firstly you massage an exfoliator onto dry hands for about 15 to 20 seconds before rinsing it off with warm water, after drying with a towel you then massage the hand cream into hands and voila - smoother softer hands in approximately 1 minute. 

Although this product is billed as a fix for hands it can be used on other body parts successfully, my husband has notoriously dry elbows he tried this product out on one elbow to be able to see what (if any) the difference was, he was amazed, the scaliness of his elbow had vanished and it felt incredibly smooth, even 24 hours later the difference was still remarkable. 

I currently own the Citron scented product as we decided that it wasn't too girlie for my husband to use, however I can recommend the Rosewater kit as it smells divine. You can purchase the sets here, I know as soon as I run out I'll be back in store stocking up.

Small Print - I purchased this product myself and have not been asked to provide a review.    

This...

I just stumbled across the above pin on pinterest, I have to admit it almost made me cry because it absolutely sums up the way I feel about myself right now. You may wonder why I have pinned something so negative, well I know there will come a time when this struggle is a memory and I want to be able to remind myself just how far I travelled.

Friday Letters #027

The last few weeks have been tough, I have started counselling sessions to help me combat my anxiety but it has brought up some other issues that also need to be dealt with, I'm getting there slowly and taking each day as it comes and trying really hard to not let things get on top of me too much. I am also trying to not give other people the control to stop me from doing things due to a fear of confrontation. 

Dear Stuart - Thank you for sticking by me, for mopping up my tears, for listening, for providing advice, for walking with me, for planning days out, for not getting annoyed during the dark days. You will never know how much I appreciate all that you have done for me xxx

Dear Mom - Thank you for always being at the end of the phone, for the advice, the giggles and for being my best friend xxx

Dead Dad - Your Facebook comments and text messages have been on top form recently, you have made me smile on the days when I really felt like I had to smile for. I really am lucky to have a dad like you xxx

Dear Social Media - I am astonished at the amount of racist people out there, the vile comments that filled my timelines after Wednesdays atrocities have been truly horrific. Whilst the crime that was committed is awful I am ashamed at how many people have blamed the Muslim community as a whole rather than those individuals involved.

Dear Tetley - I love you, your cuddles are the best BUT waking me up by licking me after eating some truly horrible smelling food is not the way forward.

Dear S and F - A girl really couldn't ask for better girlfriends then you guys, I adore our friendships and treasure the honesty and openness we have with each other xx

Dear A and B - I am no longer letting you take control, I am no longer going to shy away from events that you may be attending. I am no longer scared.

Dear Weather - PLEASE make up your mind, I don't mind wind, rain, sunshine or hail but when it happens all on the same day then I mind!

As a footnote I am currently trying to plan ideas for my first wedding anniversary, If any of you have any fun, quirky ideas then please let me know :) xxx

Getting Closer...

Opening up

Opening up to people is insanely hard to do, I have always been honest about my feelings on this blog and there have been times that I have turned to the laptop to type just to get things out. This last week was hard, I wanted to write down my feelings (which I did) but I struggled to hit publish, the fear of backlash is one that I have hidden from for a long time. So I reached out on twitter and to my amazement Jenny at Sunny Sweet Pea has become my saviour, this week she will be publishing the blog post that I don't have to strength to share. Whilst I am scared about what people may then think about me, I know that it needs to be done in order for me to continue getting stronger. 

Taking a break

I have decided to take a break from my blog for this week, I have lots of ideas for blog posts running around my head but no way of properly forming a sentence at the minute. Other than teaching I intend to spend this week having some me time and trying to relax.

See you on Monday!!

Books, books, books

I am a massive book worm, there is nothing I love better then diving into a book and not emerging until the story is over. Recently I have found that reading has become a way of escaping from anxiety, I fully immerse myself into the characters, the plots, the ideas and am often surprised when I've finished a book and discover that the world around me hasn't really changed all that much.

I am therefore asking you guys, the people who read my blog, who know my weaknesses and hopefully some strengths what books you recommend reading. I love all sorts of genres so please feel free to comment on here or over at twitter. Thank you!

Two steps forward, one leap backwards

After feeling so happy and carefree for the past few days it was inevitable that something was going to happen to challenge me, what I didn't expect was everything to collide on one day leaving me unable to cope and feeling like I have been knocked clean off the path I was on.

Yesterday started like any ordinary day, I got up, got ready for work and walked to the train station where I enjoyed my regular chat with the guy at the ticket office before going to wait for my train. The first incident happened when my train was cancelled, no big deal I thought, I contacted parents to let them know I'd be a few minutes late, rang a taxi to speed me from the station to the dance studio and congratulated myself on not letting the anxiety win. The next incident was when my connecting train was delayed, I knew the parents were expecting me to be late and yet I could not stop the anxiety creeping in, every delayed minute felt like an hour and I found myself shaking, checking the time every few seconds and feeling dismayed at how quickly it seemed to be passing. Stupidly the train was only delayed by 3 minutes but this was enough to send me into overdrive. I arrived at work panicking with a million things rushing through my head, none of them positive. I struggled through the first class and found myself relaxing and easing back into feeling myself when incident number 3 attacked. A nice, painful flair up of my endometriosis, a wave of intense pain every 10 or so minutes coupled with nausea, dizziness and the knowledge that I had to carry on teaching and get to Stuart before I could go to the local walk in centre. A crippling 3 hours later I was seen by a lovely doctor who gave me some incredible painkillers and supported my decision not to be admitted. 

Last night I felt like a failure, the positive vibes from Monday are all but a distant memory and I am back under the black cloud of anxiety. I was expecting blows, I was expecting my path to change direction, but I was not prepared for the overwhelming feeling of despair and loneliness that would accomplish it.

Wordless Wednesday

Bank Holiday

Although I spent most of the weekend feeling poorly and incredibly sorry for myself, I did manage a fun trip to Whipsnade Zoo with Stuart and my brother and sister in law along with their two adorable children. We had originally planned to spend the day wondering around St Albans, but due to traffic on route we all quickly changed our minds (thank goodness for smart phones!) It was an absolutely glorious day, even queuing for an hour and 10 minutes to get in didn't dampen our sprits. I would highly recommend a trip to the zoo, the animals all had lots of space to roam around and all seemed pretty happy to be there. It was expensive to get in £21 per adult plus £4 for the car park, but we easily spent 5 hours wondering round, if you dod decide to visit, make sure you take your own refreshments as the queues for the limited amounts of cafes were monstrously long - although this could be because it was a hot bank holiday in England!!

Squat Challenge

This month I am attempting this squat challenge that I found on Pinterest, 2 days in and my body is already hating me! Let me know if you are going to join in - I could do with some encouragement! Oh, I'm doing everything in sets of 25 with a little break in the middle, if you are joining me then good luck!!

Snail Mail

I love receiving letters and I know that I am not alone, after enquiring on Facebook (via a status) I have a few friends who are interested in joining a letter writing circle. I know there are a fair few of these around but it's always good fun to have a go at something new :) If you would like to join the circle then please send me an email - white.gemma.86@gmail.com and as soon as I have a few names I'll get sorting out address and the like.

If you know someone who would like to join the circle but who won't have seen this blog then please feel free to pass my email address and the details onto them.

Wordless Wednesday