Wednesday, 30 October 2013

A hole in my heart

I have a good life, anxiety and the ed aside, I have an incredible family, amazing friends, a loving husband and a job I adore and yet there is something missing. A year ago I drifted apart from a person who I loved on every possible level, a friend who had supported me through my endo diagnosis, bad break ups, new boyfriends, an engagement and a wedding. I never ever thought it would be possible for us to not be a part of each other's lives. We have made tentative steps towards rebuilding a friendship but nothing substantial. 
Over 27 years I have drifted apart from many people, the friends I have left are the ones who truly know and support me, yet for some reason I can't let this friendship go. Something deep inside me is telling me that this isn't the end for us, that there is something more. I don't know how to move forwards, I'm terrified of getting hurt but leaving things as they are will ultimately mean she is no longer a part of my life. 

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