The past week has been tough, the eating disorder has well and truly sucked the life out of me. I've become used to sailing through life in a bit of a mist recently however things have taken a turn for the worst. I seem to have lost my feelings - I am incapable of feeling anything well except for anger and frustration, those feelings are well and truly showing their ugly faces.
Since the anxiety first reared it's head I have prided myself on being able to carry on working, I have painted a smile on my face every day for the past year, gritted my teeth and kept on going and now I find I can't. For the past couple of weeks I've lost the love I have for work, I am struggling to get myself motivated, my brain is a fog of mixed up thoughts. I so desperately want to be moving forward with my treatment yet I'm not sure how, I want to scream and cry and shout but I have spent so long behind my mask that I now can't escape.
This eating disorder has taken so much of my life I am determined to not let it take anymore, however I am reaching out to you for ideas on how I can pull myself out of the stupor I have found myself in. Any and all ideas welcome.
Oh Gemma, hang on in there, the silver lining is coming! Have you heard of mindfulness or mindfulness based CBT? I didnt get on with CBT alone but i found this combo and mindfulness alone so so useful in living with my anxiety. Hugs.Remember, these things unfortunately take longer than u wish, but they will suddenly start improving eventually. xxx
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry to hear that you're feeling so rough Gemma, I can see how horrible this is for you. I haven't experienced this myself but what I can suggest is trying therapy? Of course it's not for everyone but my mum's a psychotherapist and I've seen how great it can be when things are as difficult as they are at the moment for you, as long as you have a good one. I would definitely recommend trying it and seeing how you find it if you haven't as I know it can help so much. I hope you feel better soon, try to keep your chin up sweet xxx
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