Wednesday, 25 September 2013

Down and almost out

The past week has been tough, the eating disorder has well and truly sucked the life out of me. I've become used to sailing through life in a bit of a mist recently however things have taken a turn for the worst. I seem to have lost my feelings - I am incapable of feeling anything well except for anger and frustration, those feelings are well and truly showing their ugly faces. 

Since the anxiety first reared it's head I have prided myself on being able to carry on working, I have painted a smile on my face every day for the past year, gritted my teeth and kept on going and now I find I can't. For the past couple of weeks I've lost the love I have for work, I am struggling to get myself motivated, my brain is a fog of mixed up thoughts. I so desperately want to be moving forward with my treatment yet I'm not sure how, I want to scream and cry and shout but I have spent so long behind my mask that I now can't escape. 

This eating disorder has taken so much of my life I am determined to not let it take anymore, however I am reaching out to you for ideas on how I can pull myself out of the stupor I have found myself in. Any and all ideas welcome.


  1. Oh Gemma, hang on in there, the silver lining is coming! Have you heard of mindfulness or mindfulness based CBT? I didnt get on with CBT alone but i found this combo and mindfulness alone so so useful in living with my anxiety. Hugs.Remember, these things unfortunately take longer than u wish, but they will suddenly start improving eventually. xxx

  2. I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling so rough Gemma, I can see how horrible this is for you. I haven't experienced this myself but what I can suggest is trying therapy? Of course it's not for everyone but my mum's a psychotherapist and I've seen how great it can be when things are as difficult as they are at the moment for you, as long as you have a good one. I would definitely recommend trying it and seeing how you find it if you haven't as I know it can help so much. I hope you feel better soon, try to keep your chin up sweet xxx