Wednesday, 16 January 2013


The thoughts just don't stop, they are constantly spinning around in my brain, occasionally making sense, but more often than not they are complete gibberish  adding weight to my chest, a feeling that something terrible is about to happen. I find myself staring vacantly at the tv screen, watching but not listening, seeing but not absorbing. Hours pass and I'll suddenly realise I'm hungry but a couple of bites of food and I'm overwhelmed with nausea. The logical part of my brain tells me this feeling will pass and that I'll soon be feeling like my old self again, the overworked part whispers that this is it now, that I'm going to have to live with the anxiety, the panic, the days of complete and utter despair. I feel I am one of the lucky ones, I have a husband who is doing everything he can to help me feel relaxed, a doctor who is willing to listen and help, friends I can talk to and know I won't be judged and parents who completely and utterly understand the pain I am in. I know things will get better, that I'll be stronger, that I have to take the rough with the smooth, until then I'll soldier on as best I can.

1 comment:

  1. Oh hun, I wish I knew what to say to make you feel better. I am sending you a parcel of love xx