Monday, 10 February 2014

Life is a roller coaster...

...and I want to get off. I'm not sure how much longer I can deal with the incredible highs and the insufferable lows anymore. I have two therapy sessions left, do I feel ready to not have that security blanket there - no. I'm scared that I'm not strong enough, not recovered enough to make sensible choices when it comes to food. 

This weekend has been one hell of a ride. I was on cloud none on Thursday after managing two sips of milk (I'm hopeful that this summer I'll be able to enjoy ice cream) yet that disappeared on Friday after dinner when I had to sit on my hands to stop myself from purging. I've restricted food intake this weekend and suffered because of it, I've been tired, miserable and had one heck of a headache, that doesn't sound like someone making sensible choices to me.

In a desperate attempt to gain some normality in my life I finally sat down and wrote out a meal plan, I'm hoping that having everything written out in front of me will help silence the voice. Right now I'm willing to try anything.

1 comment:

  1. I hope that following a meal plan can get you back into a bit of a routine, at least.