I wonder if it's my fault, if I'm somehow being punished. I look in the mirror and I hate what I see, I hate what I am putting my body through, I hate myself for not being stronger.
Why me? Why at this point in my life? I don't know where I'm going to end up, or even how far along I am on this journey.
The unknown terrifies me. Between the endometriosis and the polycystic ovaries I know that my body isn't in perfect working order. Add the eating disorder into the mix and I just don't know what the ultimate outcome is going to be.
This overwhelming feeling of sadness will pass I know that. Tomorrow I'll wake up, put my mask on and be ready to face the world. Tomorrow I'll be able to pretend that everything is fine, today though I feel like I'm mourning for the life I'll never know.
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