Realisation

It's only 11am and already today is going badly. For those who don't follow me on twitter I am currently training for a 10k run in order to raise money for charity. Running has very quickly become a release for me, a way to stop thinking and just concentrate on my body. This morning I woke up after a weekend of no exercise desperate to get out and run. It started well, I was comfortable and enjoying the endorphin release I so desperately needed. When without warning my body gave up, my chest was tight, I struggled to catch my breath, I was light headed and literally unable to put one foot in front of the other. 

My body has failed me, it's finally had enough of the constant stress I am putting it under. I am desperately sad, how have I let this happen to myself. How have I ignored the signs, ignored how loudly her voice was getting. How do I stop? How do I move forward? For some it's as simple as eating more food, that thought fills me with terror. I want to get better, believe me I do, but it's so difficult.