Never have I ever been so pleased to see the end of a year before, 2013 has been my own Annus Horribilis and tomorrow evening I'll be celebrating the fact that I've survived.
For me, the resounding question of 2013 has been 'why me' why have I been dealt these cards and why at this time, terribly self pitying I'm sure you'll agree. From this though I've discovered hidden traits - I'm stronger than I ever imagined, with more passion and determination surging through me than I ever realised was possible. I'm not stupid enough to think I'm in recovery but I am wise enough to know that I can fight, that I don't have to roll over and submit.
This blog has helped me through my low points, but don't get me wrong there have been some fantastic highs this year too. From the birth of my beautiful niece in February to celebrating my first wedding anniversary in June, there has been plenty happening to keep a tentative smile on my face. Ana tried to take those happy times from me, and almost succeeded, but she didn't. I allowed myself to be happy and to celebrate and boy did it feel good!
For me 2013 has been about powering through, knowing that eventually it would end. Learning that relapsing is ok so long as it spurs me on to fight harder. Accepting my flaws and celebrating my strengths. Last year I made a bunch of New Years resolutions all of which I thought would make me happy, today I make only one - to make 2014 the year of me.
Good luck with your resolution, you chose a good one! Put this year behind you and power on xxx
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