Friday, 20 May 2016

Anxiety who?

It is never too late to be what you might have been
T.S Elliot

17 days ago I stopped taking my anxiety medication. 17 days ago I decided I wanted to feel again, to experience the highs and lows of life, to walk through life completely aware of my surroundings, embracing my emotions rather than having them numbed by medication. For 4 years I have been medicated, relying on a tiny tablet to increase the amount of serotonin in my brain, then the above quote landed in my inbox and I realised it was time to be 'me' again. 

I had already started the slow, arduous task of reducing my dose, over the last 8 months I have gone from taking 40mgs every day to 10mgs every other day to nothing. Don't get me wrong I still carry the pack around with me, even now as I sit on the sofa the knowledge that they are in my purse brings me a reassuring amount of comfort, should I need them I know they are there but I am determined to not succumb.  

The last 17 days haven't been easy, I have experienced a ridiculous amount of emotional highs and lows all of which were out of my control and yet I am still here, still determined and still going strong. 

I am excited to see what life is like without the comforting blanket of Citalopram.

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